Just Show Up
Being the person I want to be, and a few thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions
A close friend and I were chatting the other day, and she told me the way she got to where she is today is she just spent her life living as the person she dreamed of being. I had been telling her about how I was so in awe that someone so young could have become fantastically well-established in a new city and created an aspirational life for herself. In response, she told me, “Just show up.” Show up every day as the badass bitch you envision yourself being. The one who’s dominating school and business; the one who’s clever and elegant; the one who leaves a trail of broken hearts when she walks away in Louboutin pumps.
I’ve been thinking about who I want to be, and how I can spend every day living as that woman.
The woman I want to be is well-educated and is pursuing a challenging career in structural engineering, but can still carry a knowledgeable and fulfilling conversation about most things from wine to politics to art. I’ve always looked up to Leonardo da Vinci as a character, the best depiction of the Renaissance Man. The Renaissance Man is a person who is well‑rounded and talented in the arts and the sciences, creating and learning their entire life. Ever since I learned about that concept when I was in high school, I knew that was going to be my future. Therefore, the woman I want to be, and the woman as whom I need to show up, studies hours every day and allows herself to pursue hobbies and interests in a wide variety of topics for the sheer joy of learning. She reads every day and becomes a “jack of all trades” in her knowledge base.
The woman I want to be is like an Old Hollywood starlet: glamorous, coy, graceful, and sweet. In the words of Audrey Hepburn herself, elegance is the only beauty that never fades. I always aspired to be that kind of vintage bombshell type, so much so that I read my mom’s old copy of Miss Manners: Guide for Excruciatingly Correct Behaviour. Therefore, the woman I want to be, and the woman as whom I need to show up, tries to be dressed nicely and fashionably as would a celebrity, but still while being comfortable. She shows others kindness and patience, even when she’s frustrated or angry. She carries herself well in any situation from the classroom to a corporate dinner party to the ballet. *
The woman I want to be like, and the woman I will embody every day henceforth, is bright, knowledgeable, articulate, immaculate, polite, warm, charismatic, confident, and determined. She is ambitious and pushes herself to be the high‑powered, CEO type. She flirts her way through a holiday party and grins when everyone turns to watch her leave.
Now, it is mid-December. This time of year is the time most of us are considering our New Year’s Resolutions and setting goals to become what we perceive as better versions of ourselves. We always end up waiting for a “new” time, such as a new day (I’ll start studying tomorrow); a new week (I’ll start jogging on Monday); a new month (I’ll budget better next month); a new year (Happy New Year, everyone!). After talking to my friend the other day, I decided to start immediately, building the habits that will make me into that person I want to be. I know I won’t get to that place overnight, and I know I’ll need to show myself patience and kindness, but I don’t want to wait for a new time anymore.
There’s no better time than right now.
XOXO, Adina
*I would like to say that it is a huge dream of mine to attend the ballet or the opera. Seeing a performance would be an excellent date idea.
